When I was in elementary school I was an excellent speller. I made it to the final round of the 5th grade spelling bee only to lose on the word vengeance. (Those teachers are going to PAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!) But then Al Gore invented the internet and things have gone downhill from there. I spend so much time quickly typing emails and having things automatically spell-checked for me that I no longer know how to spell basic words.
I once lived in a very scary far away land known as Wisconsin. I was surrounded by crazy illiterates attacking me from all sides!!! They threatened to make me say things like "I seen your friend" and "I ain't got none money!" At work I once saw a woman spell checking her emails before she sent them and I ridiculed her in my head.
And then earlier this week I did a bad thing. I caught myself spell checking an email and I knew something had to change.
So I will play a spelling game with all of you. Here is a list of words that I can not spell on my own. Maybe if I write them all down, I will purge myself of the bad spelling and become clean again.
1. Committee vs. Commitment (what's up with the double t's? Which one needs them and which one doesn't???)
2. Piece (I frequently want a peice of pie. Thank you, Heather, your mocking has already helped me get over this one... most of the time.)
3. Input (I was stupid enough to spell this imput. I hate myself)
4. Restaurant (OMG my Mom tried so hard to get me to learn this one...)
5. Definitely (Definately was my spelling of choice. Again, thank you Heather.)
So now we have all agreed that I am an idiot speller. But as I prepare my case for "when bad spelling happens to good people" to bring to my annual review next week, ponder this. Am I truly lazy, stupid and semi-illiterate? Or am I product of a generation that lets computers think for them? Not that this is preferable; I actually would rather just be stupid than admit to letting a computer think for me. But maybe as a college graduate I should be able to have more to show for myself than an ability to hit spellcheck. Either that, or I should have a killer 5-bedroom and a six-pack of Miller Light up in Wisconsin.
Cleaning Out the Cupboards
12 years ago
