Make me a reservation at the nursing home: I am aging rapidly

Russ and I had a totally different kind of weekend. For a incredible change of pace, we left Josie with relatives and had a good old fashioned night out with friends. It started like all good nights out do- get dressed in your cool jeans, tight shirt, and shoes you can run in. Get on the el to go meet your friends. Get off the train and see people doing drugs between parked cars, you know, a typical night in the city. As we walk to our friends house, we pass people that appear to be in a gang (a.k.a. talking loudly). Fear for safety. Attempt to walk with purpose, but instead walk through a spider web. Ew. We finally make it to our destination and are happy to see all of our friends that we have not partied with since before Josie was born. We pop open some beers and start chatting. Music is on, comedy gold is flowing, and a good time is being had by all. Soon we are playing "ride the bus" like a couple of true party animals! Russ and I are carefree, young, and having fun! After coming out on the losing end of too many games, I was in a delicate condition as we hit the bar. Soon I hit the wall and wanted to go home. I was proud of my night out and imagining myself in a nice cozy bed when I looked at my watch: 11:45. RED ALERT!!!!!!!! 11:frickin:45! I am supposed to be young and hip! Its not even midnight! I should be living like there is no tomorrow, partying like its 1999, etc! We'd been having fun but I can't help it, I want to go home. Russ and I grab a cab and are home by shortly after midnight. We go to bed pronto. I wake up in the morning and hate myself. More like hate my stomach and the feeling is mutual. I turn to look at Russ and he is in a bad place as well. Things going downhill fast. We get up and get ready to go retrieve Josie. I have to drive so Russ can nurse his hang over in the passenger seat. When I turn on the car, the radio comes on... the classical station. Pour salt in my wound, OMG, that's right I've been listening to classical music in the car! It hits me in waves that I am totally aging. I realize I only have 2 pairs of jeans, my only friends on myspace are my 11-14 year old cousins, I am now scandalized by drug use and sexual impropriety and, the nail in the coffin: I missed my daughter while drinking at a bar. Trying to be young again kicked our asses and I am humiliated! Until I arrive to pick up Josie. She sees us through the window and is so happy she starts crying and running to us. I kissed her and nuzzled her sweet little neck... Maybe being older isn't so bad after all.

Josie's Believe It Or Not

Josie has been quite an entertainer lately, but nothing compares to last night's dinner. Any excuse to avoid eating and get down to play is Josie's favorite. So when she feined the ole "hey, there's something in my nose! Lets get down and get it out!" trick, Russ and I were wise to her game. Or so we thought.
Let me set the stage. We were coming to the end of a good old fashioned Johnson spaghetti dinner. Josie was eating the long noodles with us- what a big girl! But soon Josie was wrinkling her nose, pointing, and making the sign for help. Wise parents are on to her and say "Sorry Josie, can't extract during the meal. Must chill." But Josie perservered. She kept pointing, wriggling her nose and looking more concerned. Finally Russ got a kleenex, pulled out the tiniest specimen, and we thought the case was closed. But Josie just seemed more distressed and kept pointing. Not loving the booger game during meal time, we told her again to chill. But suddenly, Josie sneezed. I was telling some boring story (as usual) and not paying attention to her when Russ suddenly yelled "Hey! A noodle!" Somewhere in the midst of Josie's shocked face was a spaghetti noodle coming out of her nose! The poor little stinker had somehow swallowed weirdly and managed to get an entire spaghetti noodle up her nose and out the other end! When I went to pull it out (GROSS) the noodle was 4 inches long! I felt like I was pulling out part of her brain! After the shock wore off, Russ and I could not stop laughing. I said "that was disgusting!" Russ said "that was awesome!" Looks like she showed us- The Amazing Josephine, circus performer and noodle-nose-threader extraordinare!

Whoa! Mom, I pulled a noodle out of my nose tonight!

RIP Britney

Like many of you, I am saddened to learn of our favorite Britney's VMA demise. Therefore, I can not find the strength to write. Only to post pictures of Josie.



Sunday: Russ buys a washable swiffer so we can eliminate waste by no longer swiffing and throwing. Josie decides to take it for a spin... and doesn't stop for an hour!

Look at Cinderella getting her clean on. That's my girl!

Please note: Russ dressed her in a Future Librarian Shirt... I countered by at least making her wear a sassy cargo skirt! (Outfit courtesy of Auntie Heather) She is one well-dressed cleaning machine!

I don't want to be friends with Madonna

I was in a meeting today with two of my co-workers. One is a new grandmother whose granddaughter is 2 weeks old and was showing pictures of the newborn. What was all fun and games became scary when my coworker asked the new grandmother if she had been pulling any all-nighters helping out with the baby. “Oh my goodness, no” she said. “But, I told them if it gets really hard I will hire them a night-nurse.” On the inside, my invisible blue collar grew claws and attempted to cut her. Not only do night nurses cost hundreds of dollars per night, but WTF? What is this, the royal family? What scared me more was that my seemingly normal co-worker surprised me by saying “Oh, I wouldn’t do without one! My best friend had one and said it was amazing. The nurse soothed the baby during the night and when it was time to eat she just brought the baby to her in her bed and when she was done, she took the baby back to her crib.” Is her best friend Madonna? Had she procured her new baby from some impoverished share-croppers in a third world? And where am I right now? Who knew Chicago was the place to find rich and out of touch psychos that think night nurses (again, their fee per week is more than my monthly mortgage) are the norm. Remembering all the sweet nights I had nursing Josie and taking care of her myself, I got the he-hockey sticks out of there. Do they have nurses for giving people the finger?

Labor Day!

Josie at the park this Labor Day! Dad teaches Josie some awesome soccer moves. Later she poses next to the sweet bike trailor she rode in with Beethoven and Pooh.