Merry Christmas!

So much has happened since my last posting, I can't even believe it. But I suppose it would be lame to talk about anything but Christmas, so I will start with that. I apologize in advance for the weird collection of pictures. We somehow never managed to get a decent family picture, or even many normal ones of Josie! But I will try to give a sampling here.

I'm sure many of you were dying to know if we bought Josie a train set for Christmas. And yes, we got a train. But fear not, I did find a bargain! I was an unbelievably successful online shopper this year, and actually found a sweet train set on Craigslist! Feast your eyes on this:

I found a train set that had guys that could ride in it, and it also came with a police car, fire truck, and Russ's personal favorite, the CHIPS style police motorcycle! It also came with, randomly, a farm with a crazy farmer in lederhosen- he looks straight out of the Sound of Music. Awesome!

Anyhoo- Christmas was the best ever this year as the Johnson's stayed home on Christmas Eve for the first time. We took Josie to Church in her cute Christmas dress (which I stupidly never got a picture of! I hate myself!), then set up cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. After she went to bed Russ and I spent all night getting the train and dollhouse set up in the living room and reliving all of our favorite Christmas mornings and coolest presents. Being a parent on Christmas is the best! Check out our Santa display:

Josie was just as excited as we hoped she would be. She was kind of in shock when she came out of her bedroom, but then immediately started to play with everything and hasn't stopped since. It has been so much fun to see her playing with these big girl toys!

Ah, but whenever I start to take this dollhouse stuff too seriously, I have Russ there to bring me back to Earth. Check out the picture he took while I wasn't looking. I hope he remembered to put the seat down.

Later in the day on Christmas, we went to Sycamore for the full Johnson extravaganza. It was really fun to see everyone and get a little attention for my belly, too! Josie got one more big present- a new kitchen from Russ's parents- awesome!

All in all the holiday was great. It was fun to have time off from work, fun to play with Josie and hang out with Russ, and really fun to see our family. It was a very Merry Christmas!

Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever, Ever Try Wrapping Christmas Presents With A 2 Year Old

In preparation for a Plank family Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration this week, I wanted to wrap a few presents. As Josie likes to help me with pretty much everything I do, I thought we could do it together. You know, we like to cook together, fold laundry together... what's different about wrapping presents?

I'll end the suspense and just tell you: 50 YARDS OF RIBBON.

I thought Josie would busy herself with looking at the actual gifts I was wrapping. Instead she wripped 3 different gift bags, crumpled paper, and unwrapped and walked on several different roles of wrapping paper. Then I tried to distract her by giving her a marker to draw on some of the gifts, "writing" her name and wishing them Merry Christmas. Instead she got marker all over my pants. But this was too much:

I left the room for two seconds to get some more tape, and Josie had begun to unroll my jumbo pack of ribbon. That's right folks- 50 yards of ribbon.

I didn't know if I wanted to laugh or cry. Or call Russ and beg him to come home and help me. Or strap her to a chair. Or.... this could go on and on.

I finally just tried to be cool and go with it. My family will probably think the crazy looking presents are cute because she "helped." And the ribbon.... well, I can always buy more ribbon. Besides, she looks so proud, doesn't she?

A Free Train Agreement?

Yeah, I know. Bad pun. But I guess I'm sick of thinking about trains, and got a little desparate. Which brings me to the topic of my new poll, and I really need everyone's help.

I am very excited about Christmas this year because Josie is so excited about Santa. And this year she will actually play with the toys she receives, rather than the past 2 years when presents were basically just things to shake. Oh, so boring.

This year Josie has declared she wants a dollhouse and a train and train tracks for Christmas. This is all she will talk about. Just like with her Halloween costume, we don't know where she came up with the ideas, and we can't change her mind. We even brought her to a toy store to show her all the amazing other options, but she still wants a dollhouse and train set.

Well, we found her a dollhouse on the cheap which was a miracle. We bought it used from a second hand toy store (don't judge!) and were therefor able to afford the whole kit and caboodle. But now I'm looking for trains and coming up short. There are none to be found on Craigslist, and they are EXPENSIVE to buy new. I mean, come on! One train- not the track, not even the whole train, but one car- is $14.99. Ouch.

So I have a dilemma. I really don't want to buy a train set. So let me review my list of pros and cons:

CON:
1) I am not convinced Josie will even play with a train. I think she saw something about it on Barney, and now thinks she wants one, too. Josie tends to play with more traditional girl toys, and I have never really seen her play with things like cars and trains.
2)I really don't want to spend a fortune on presents for a two year old. I sort of feel like at her age, I could spend $5 on a new container for her rock collection and she would be in heaven.
3) Train sets take up a sh*tload of space. I'll probably spend the next year tripping on trains.
4) If we get her everything she asks for, are we creating a spoiled brat?

PRO:
1) Russ thinks- and he's probably right- that because she is so obsessed, on Christmas morning she will say "Where is the train?!?!?!" For anyone that knows Josie, she can be totally OCD (just like her Mommy, how sweet) about things and I'm sure she has it burned in her brain that she is getting a train.
2) Since she has only actually asked for two things, Russ thinks there is no harm in getting them for her. (But see my point #4 above...)
2) I found a generic train set for $30 on sale at Target...

So, this my not be as interesting a problem for all of you, but it is bothering me. So if you could offer some insight and, even better, a vote on my poll, it would be greatly appreciated!

Obama Rama!

Needless to say all the Johnson's are VERY excited about the recent election. With the big Obama rally in Grant Park in Chicago, just a few blocks from where I work, I didn't have to go to in to the office that day. So Russ, Josie and I all headed to the polls to vote together!Josie gets into the spirit before voting by dressing patriotically and kissing her Obama doll.

Since we voted in mid-morning, it was pretty much us and a bunch of old people. One woman in her 70's was so excited about voting for Obama that she asked us to take her picture in several different locations. She said she wanted to be able to prove to her grandchildren that she had voted in this historic election!

Josie was very patient while she waited for Russ and I to vote. Except for when she kept yelling "Where is Barack?!" and we had to explain that he wasn't actually there, we were just voting for him.On our way out, the older woman- who was still busy snapping pictures- took this of us with our "I voted" stickers.

Yeah, Josie's first election!

Worlds Biggest Frog

Happy Halloween!

Josie was determined to be a frog this year, so Russ and I went old-school and created a frog costume out of green clothes and felt. I was mildly humiliated, but as long as Josie could hop and say "RIBBIT!" she was psyched! Josie takes off for some intense Trick-or-Treating! Note felt "frog feet" cut out and taped on her shoes by Mom.

What a difference a year makes-- last year Josie could barely talk and could hardly get up the steps. This year she ran up to everyone's door saying "Trick or Treat! Ribbit!" She corrected a few people who thought she was a turtle, but otherwise her frog costume was a hit.

Temporarily distracted by some cool rocks...

In this picture Josie is oblivious to the HUGE trick-or-treating blunder she has just committed. Some crazy neighbor was actually giving out FULL SIZE candy bars. She had a whole bowl to choose from of king size Reese's peanut butter cups, Hershey bars and butterfingers. There was also a cup of pencils. Josie chose the PENCIL and walked away, leaving Dad and Mom in tears.

One last action shot. Josie was a trooper and made it around two full blocks! In this picture you can kind of see next year's second Johnson trick-or-treater...

Project This!

This has been a very exciting week at work! Ever since John McCain trashed the museum during the debates on Tuesday, the local and national media has been everywhere. We held a press conference on Wednesday and it was like a debate in itself. The reporters were asking really hard questions like "why do you even need a new projector" and "doesn't $3 million seem like too much money?" Yikes!

First of all, we are hardly asking for a new "overhead projector." For those of you that didn't see the debate, check out this clip with McCain's comments and a news station's response. (Don't worry, the clip is only a minute and a half long.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ullQiM5Tmg


What has been really cool, is that despite our worries, people from all over the country have been calling and emailing to stick up for us! Our phones are ringing off the hook. Even more, an NBC science blog started telling its readers to send us money so we wouldn't need an earmark. Overnight money started flooding in from all over the country!

Here is a link to that blog in case you're curious:

http://cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/10/08/1518907.aspx


One of my Republican friends said "look, John McCain is already doing good things for America!" What a loser! But it has been really touching to see all of these people that have never heard of us, and clearly will never visit the us, willing to part with their money just to tell us they don't think our museum is "a bunch of pork." Oink oink, McCain!

Tag, I'm It

I got tagged by my friend Jon today. So although we are engaged in a political argument at the moment, I figured we are pretty much always in a political argument, so I might as well participate. I hope you find some of this random information interesting!

Here are the rules:
1.Post the rules on your blog
2.Write 6 random things about yourself
3.Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4.If you are tagged, just do it, and pass the tag along!

1. I am totally superstitious and it sometimes gets ridiculous. For example, tonight I was making garlic bread and cut 5 pieces for me, and 5 for Russ. I was going to make 3 for Josie but realized that would mean 13 pieces of bread- unacceptable. So I cut 14 and figured Russ could eat the extra. Now that is random.

2. I am afraid that if I talk about something scary, it will happen to me. Again, sort of in the superstition vein. But I am deathly afraid of worst-case-scenarios, and if I start talking about something that scares me- especially if I'm joking about it- I am afraid karma will make it happen to me. I would give some examples, but then I would be afraid it would happen to me.

3. I am fascinated by weird actors that are secretly amazing singers. For example, I love Kevin Spacey. I heard him singing some old 40's music on a movie soundtrack once and fell in love with the way his voice sounds. Another example is Jon Lovitz. He is a really great singer, who knew?

4. When I was growing up my Mom never let me eat pickles because they were too salty. So now I consider a pickle to be the world's greatest secret treat.

5. If I could start my life over and learn any talent, it would be to play the violin. I think it sounds so beautiful. Josie's quarter-Grandma Sharon is a professional violinist and it is awesome to listen to her play. I wish I could do that!

6. I have never had any athletic talent whatsoever, despite my best efforts. I love watching sports and I think its exciting to see athletes being really aggressive and pulling off difficult plays. If I could be great at any sport, it would be volleyball. It always looked really fun, but whenever I tried to play it I was scared of getting hit by the ball.

So there. Does it get any more random than that? And since I don't really know anyone with a blog except Heather, Heather-- you're tagged!

No really, it was that bad

I was killing time waiting for Russ to be done with homework so we could watch our new obsession, Dexter (love it! But more on that later), when I came across some SNL clips making fun of Sarah Palin's CBS interview with Katie Couric. As I was watching them, I couldn't help thinking they must be being hard on Palin. Yes, she scares me, but no one can sound that ridiculous. So I decided to check it out the interview for myself. See the clip I found on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nokTjEdaUGg

And here is all I have to say: Yes, it really was that bad.

COME ON! Didn't we all have a good laugh a year ago when that Miss Teen USA contestant couldn't answer the question about maps? Am I wrong, or are we dealing with a 42 year old Miss Teen Frickin Alabama?

I am so frustrated that Sarah Palin has even had 2 people stand up and say she is qualified to be our potential President. People have told me "I like that she's not a typical politician, you can tell she is for the people." Which people- the ones that lived on earth with the dinosaurs 6000 years ago? Or us, the ones that have brains that clearly have not adapted much since then. Haven't we been through enough embarrassment with Bush for the last 8 years? Must we have this pandering to the female vote slapped in our face and worse, maybe even succeed?

Please see the equally infuriating article about John McCain as he reacted to the backlash from Palin's interview:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080929/ts_alt_afp/usvotepalin

Yes, this article states that even some Republicans are asking for her to step down. Now I think I should stop this rant or my Republican friends will never forgive me. After all, some of them have told me they think Sarah Palin is "a kick!" (She loves Moose Stew! Isn't that adorable? Ahh!!!!) All I can say is I officially can not wait until October 2nd's Vice Presidential debate. Bring it, Biden!

My favorite food groups-- candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup

Yes, that's right folks! Bring on the ice cream because I'm going all out- Elf-style- and eating nothing but sugar to celebrate passing my diabetes test!

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I got gestational diabetes when pregnant with Josie. This time around the doctor's are being really cautious and testing me way earlier and more often. My doctor predicted I would be diabetic as early as 13 weeks, so I had my test yesterday. (For those of you doing the math, I put it off for a week because I was trying to avoid it... I know, I know...) After the test I spent the whole afternoon miserable at the site of any lone potato chip or noodle and loathing the return of my depressing carb-less diabetic diet.

But great news came today when I learned I passed my test with flying colors! Now its nothing but cookies for another 3 months until I have to take it again. Here's hoping I can be diabetes free at least through Christmas!

Rock 'N Roll

A few cool pictures from this weekend-- Josie learning to play the "guitar"

Two things to ignore

1) Its a Barney guitar 2) Russ clearly hasn't combed her hair in weeks!

Dad gets in on the action. What a couple of hippies!

As I sheepishly return to my blog...

Every time I have taken a long hiatus from blogging I imagine all these catchy titles to get all 4 of you who read this to love me again and forget that I am the worst for barely blogging. But I won't try to be cute, I'll just get to the point. I have not been blogging lately because I have been busy with a much bigger project--- growing a baby!

That's right folks, Oops I did it again. Russ and I are expecting Baby #2 on March 25 and we are so excited! It has been a very interesting 14 weeks so far as I have done nothing but lay dying on the couch and Russ has done pretty much everything else imaginable. In fact, as I write this Russ and Josie are hanging in Sycamore and "giving me a break." I have a feeling he chose an escape because he can't take my psychotic mood swings and pregnancy rage, but I'll try to focus on the positive.

Also now that Fall is in full swing, Russ is back to the books and working on two classes for his Masters. This means that I will hopefully have more time to update everyone on the riveting details in the life of Gmax, even if they are completely non-riveting.

So with that, I hope you all will pencil March 25 on your calendar as my new favorite date and I will keep you updated on the progress of Russ or Gena Jr. as we move along!

Lincoln Park Zoo and Johnsons, too!

It has been a non-stop fun factory for the Johnson family! We've had friends visiting, my 29th birthday, and some excellent dessert. But an even more special treat came yesterday when we went to the Lincoln Park Zoo.

One perk of my job is getting invitations to special events at other Chicago destinations. So, when we were invited to a family event at the Lincoln Park Zoo we were all about it! There was one stipulation- the event was for Legislators, so I had to attend with my co-worker, a 40-something lobbyist and known to be a bit of a Debbie Downer. But I was worth it for the free parking, free food, and free run of the zoo that was closed for all but about 100 Illinois politicians-- and us!

One of the most memorable thing was going to see the Polar Bears. Josie was running down the path to get there like a mad woman screaming "Polar Bears! I'm coming!!!" We arrived just in time for the animal feeding. A totally unglamorous experience, the feeders basically threw chopped fish over the fence for the bears to scavenge. At one point, a grody bloody fish landed on one of the bears and blood and guts got all over its white fur. Sick! Luckily Josie was distracted at that moment by one of the other Polar Bears dropping a giant deuce. Josie yelled out "Mommy, that bear is going poop on the potty! What a big boy!"

At one point we passed a table of volunteers showing off some kind of crazy alligator purse. Turns out it was illegal (was it the alligator head that gave that away?), and they told us about all the other random things, including that purse and their full table of other stuff, police are constantly confiscating at O'Hare airport. They had a huge stash of things including a rhino horn, some boots made from the fur of endangered animals, and other creepy stuff. Who knew Chicago was a hotbed for that kind of thing?

Before we went home, we made a final stop at the carousel. We were the only ones there, so there was no line-- again, awesome! The guy let Josie walk around the entire carousel to pick out her favorite animal to ride. But of all the choices, she picked a red bench! Basically the handicapped seat! And so Russ, Josie, my random lobbyist co-worker, and I sat on the bench together and rode around. Not quite the youthful abandon I'd been expecting. When it was done, Josie said she wanted to go again, so I had grand hopes for round two. But after walking around and inspecting every animal again, she came back to the bench! The lamest! I guess you can't predict what's exciting to a two-year old...

Finally it was time to go home. On our way out, we found a mother bunny and 5 tiny baby bunnies playing on the sidewalk. Josie was totally psyched! (And lets be honest- I was psyched. Baby bunnies are the cutest!) We were watching them and at one point it seemed like Josie was going to pick one up. That's when the lobbyist said "Josie, you don't want to touch the baby bunnies. If you touch them, your scent will get on it, and when it goes back to its nest the mother will eat it."
AH!!!!!!!

Good one. Thank you for that. Hey lobbyist, look over there! I think I see Obama!

All in all it was the best free entertainment we'd had in a while. I can't wait to go back!

Josie + Asher = Love

Okay, don't judge. There have been a lot of pictures of Josie's suitors on this blog lately. But Josie is young, cute, and happenin.' You can't blame her for wanting to play the field a bit. Besides, I think I agree more with the Smith's political views than I do with baby Goo-goo's. Don't hate, Mona. If I'm creating an arranged marriage, I have to take these things into consideration.

Anyway-- on to the pictures! The Smith family came all the way from Iowa to help me celebrate my birthday. Which meant a reunion for best friends (and possible love-match) Josie and Asher! The two spent the weekend together sharing goldfish crackers, naptimes, and sweet nothings. Check out the photos below!

Look at these big kids just having a snack at the table. What could be cuter?

For a blast from the past, here's a picture from one of Asher and Josie's first dates-- both of them are two months old. I can't believe how time has flown.

Here are the lovebirds on Asher's first birthday. Neither of them could walk yet, but they could already say "I do."

Three cheers for arranged marriages!

Have you missed me?

Well folks, I'm finally back to my blog! My internet has been broken for 3 weeks. I've become best friends with half of India in the time I've spent on the phone with tech support. They finally told us they would fix it, but it would cost us our firstborn child so, forlourn, we decided to delay it a little longer. Then today we turned on the computer and everything was working again. WTF! But I'm not complaining. Just blogging again!

So let me get you all up to speed. June has been fantastic! Beautiful weather, time as a family, and I'm even starting to get a respectable tan. But the best part of June was the visit from my BFF Mona and her baby, Andrew!

Mona and Andrew (or "little monkey" as Josie started calling him) were here for three days and we had so much fun. We took the babies to the lake, the park, watched cheesy movies, and generally lived it up.

We did have one dark moment, however. When going for a walk, we were gossiping and giggling like the old days when we were distracted by something amazing-- as our heads jerked to the right, and our strollers crashed into each other, and we drooled over the thing across the street.

Hot guy?
No.
Dairy Queen?
I wish.

It was a neighbor out for a run with a fancy new jogging stroller. How humiliating! Mona and I made a pact to burn our sweat pants and try to get a life. Yikes!

While I work on my anti-aging technics, feast your eyes on some of these recent pictures.

Mona and Baby Goo-Goo

One of the few moments when Josie wasn't yelling "Oh no, Gogo's toys!"

Gogo and Drewski in the bathtub (edited for internet appropriateness, duh) Can you see the look of love in their eyes? This will be great for the photo montage at their wedding!

Favorite Josie Quotes

Favorite Josie Quotes this week:

Josie loves to watch cartoons when she wakes up on Saturday mornings. We thought it would be fun one morning for all of us to watch cartoons in Mom and Dad’s bed. I went in to get Josie from her crib and told her we were watching cartoons in the big bed today. Josie says “Because the Family Room is still sleeping.”

Josie loves to talk about all the people she knows and what they like to do. Last night we were talking about Josie’s favorite babysitter, Shamra.
Josie: “Shammy works at the butterfly museum. Mommy works at a museum, too.”
Mom: “What kind of museum does Mommy work for?”
Josie: “A space museum. And Go-Go works for a green bean museum.”

Josie and Dad were playing “I spy” in her room. Then he had to change her diaper, but they kept playing the game.
Daddy: “I spy a lamp!”
Josie: “I spy Daddy wiping Go-go’s bum!”

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day! What a great time for a holiday- a long weekend during the most beautiful time of the year! In honor of this special day, the Johnson's went on strike. Just to see if we could, we refused to use our computer, drive our car, or spend any money for the entire weekend. And it was fabulous! Let me explain.

Every once in a while I go through periods where I refuse something just to see if I can. Past examples include cutting off television, coffee, curling irons (that was a weird one), etc. Lately I've been feeling a little weird about my home computer because I realized how addictive it can be. I started to add up how much time I was wasting in front of the screen instead of putting my few minutes of down time to use doing something more productive. So that explains why I have not been doing much blogging lately.

Feeling on a roll, and to protest the outrageous price of gas in Chicago (hello $4.40 a gallon!), Russ and I also went the entire Memorial Day weekend without using our car. We walked and biked everywhere and had a great time! If there was something we wanted to do or have that was not within walking or biking distance, we went without or got creative. That even means no Dairy Queen, and any of you who know me realize how large of a sacrifice that was for me. (Not to worry-- having biked to get ice cream for me at a grocery store near us, the store owner told Russ he was planning to open a brand new Dairy Queen just blocks from our house. Hear the angels rejoice!)

The final arm of the Johnson's three-pronged attack was a strike against spending money. We went three days without spending a penny and boy was that interesting. Actually, for me that strike started last Monday and mainly included bringing my own coffee to work, taking the train, and packing a lunch. We did cheat a little this weekend when I broke down and insisted on buying ice cream with some money slipped to Russ from his Dad. But other than that we made our own food, rented movies from the library, played outside and generally had some good, clean, cheap fun! I stole this idea from a book my Dad lent me about spending little to no money and enjoying life more. The author was hilarious and I agreed with a lot of what he had to say. Check out his web page if you have time. http://www.ultimatecheapskate.com/ I swear this is not my Dad in disguise. Although the resemblence is scary, this author does not have nearly as sweet a tan as my Dad does.

Anyway, it was one of the best weekends we've had in a while and I feel so lucky to live in a town that is so beautiful and has so much to do within blocks of our house. At times it was a struggle to get through winter, so being outside and spending time at the lake again is amazing. If I never write again its because I quit my job to become a homeless beach bum and continue this strike forever.

Coming Next- the Bumper Bonnet

Yes folks, this is a picture of our sun room. And no, there is no ladder outside, nor are we being imprisoned. These are the new safety bars guaranteed to keep Josie from fall to her third-story death.

I am feeling torn about this new addition to our humble abode. Russ and I have always tried to take a practical approach to "baby proofing" and keeping Josie safe from harm. Our attitude is that bumps and bruises are learning experiences and nothing we do can ever keep her totally safe. When someone first asked me if I worried about Josie falling out one of our old, large windows, I thought it was a ridiculous question. But since then I've learned how common it is in Chicago (and probably elsewhere) for children to fall out the windows of these old buildings. And Finally, my father-in-law could take the stress no more. He generously (these things are expensive!) bought the bars for all of our windows and helped Russ install them. Let me tell you, I am not a fan. Not only are they are not attractive but I can't help wondering if I've fallen for the safety overkill of today's parenting generation.

So this all brings up an interesting question. How much concern for our children's safety is too much? Help me figure out if I'm being too lenient with this week's poll. In the meantime, Josie had a colossal wipe-out outside today leaving her with an enormous goose-egg and causing me to rethink my decision not to invest in the bumper bonnet. What are your thoughts?

Happy Birthday Josie!

Josie Leigh turns 2 on Tuesday! We had an awesome Barney-themed birthday party for her this Saturday. It was the happening place to be! My Dad (aka Grampa Curly) flew in from Minneapolis to be there, and my Grandma came from Iowa along with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin. (My cousin just turned 16 and drove 5 hours with parents and Grandma to attend a 2 year old's birthday party. You know he must have been thinking "kill me!" but he was a great sport!) Josie completely understood that we were having a party for her, unlike last year when she was confused by the crowd and wanted everybody out of her face. This year she greeted everybody that came in the door by yelling "Hi Guys! Happy Birthday!"

Josie loves Curious George and she scored a new stuffed animal from her cousin, Annie. As Josie would say "Yeah! A new Oooh-ee-ee!"

Showing off new garden tools to cousin Nolan and her Great-Grandma Mickie.

The coolest present- a new trike from Grandma and Grampa Johnson! (She still has to figure out how to make it go, but that's why Daddy is there to push. Hooray!)

She was looking forward to singing "Happy Birthday" the most, but then the actual singing kind of freaked her out.... uh-oh!

Blowing out candles with help from Mommy- yum, delicious straw-baby shortcake! (Josie can't quite say strawberry yet...)

Those are two hot looking Planks! Gmax with the coolest Grampa in town, Grampa Curly!

The Results Are In!

Thank you to everyone for taking my poll on my styrofoam dilemma. I secretly wish everyone would tell me how they voted, because I find it so interesting. But I guess that kind of defeats the purpose. Anyway, here were my results:
1 vote- Yes, keep up the strike because maybe they will eventually change their ways
5 votes- Yes, keep it up because at least my conscience is clear
6 votes- No, just recycle more
1 vote- We're all going to die, at least enjoy some coffee on the way down

And my thoughts? I think I will continue the strike because I should be recycling more regardless. But I do think I might follow this good suggestions-- to buy a re-usable Dunkin Donuts mug and enjoy the coffee without the styrofoam. Genius! Maybe they will even give me a discount! This plan makes the drive through more difficult (oh how I LOVE drive-throughs) but alas, something has to give.
Thanks for voting!

Depressing Election

And no, this is not my foray into discussing the current Presidential election. This is my response to the vote on my latest music woes. The vote was totally split-- how will that help me with my coolness? Russ suggested I may have had a more decisive vote if I'd offered option D- 'don't even listen to Miley Cyrus when its on the radio. ' Interesting option.
The other thing I found depressing was my lack-luster number of votes. Is anybody reading this thing? Maybe I should stop writing here and dig up some spare change to call someone who cares.
In the mean time, I will at least amuse myself with another poll. In honor of Earth Day, this one is about coffee- or perhaps, my lack of coffee. Help me determine the most ethical route to take here. To summarize my feelings, I have chosen to express myself through prose:

Ode to Dunkin Donuts Coffee:

Why you gotta taste so yummy?
But serving coffee in styrofoam is just plain crummy
In a billion years, you'll fill landfill craters
And my great-great-grandchildren will be haters
If I want to please them and Al Gore
I am forced to buy your coffee no more
Yes, this is a terrible poem
But this is what I think about at home
As I sip bad tasting home made brew
And wish I had a cup of you

Love always,
Gmax

Did I just experience the weirdest day ever?

Sometime in the middle of the night on Friday, I woke up to a weird rumbling sound along with something scratching somewhere in our bedroom. In my stupor, I also realized Russ was asking me "hey, are you moving the bed?"
Putting "scratching noise" with "shaking bed" I came to the logical conclusion that a huge animal was under our bed! (Too many years in cheap student housing in vermin-infested La Crosse, WI will do that to you.) When the shaking stopped, both from my panic and whatever caused it, I forced Russ to investigate the noise. He realized it was a picture frame tapping on the wall. Weird. So, maybe no animal. I joked that maybe it was an earthquake- hardy har. That was a hilarious 4 am joke, because we don't have earthquakes in Chicago!
Cut to 6:30 am. I had showered the night before so I was doing the awkward half-naked crab-walk pose over the side of the tub while I washed my hair in the faucet. Suddenly I hear the phone ringing and just as I'm adding conditioner I hear my Aunt saying "...the very scary news..." ACK! Who's calling this early? What's scary? Someone died! I run to the phone.
No one had died, it was my aunt telling me that we'd had an earthquake. Then she started telling me a story about some documentary she'd been watching, and I was nowhere near awake enough for that. At that point Josie spotted me from her crib and was jumping up and down yelling and wanting out. After 30 minutes I still hadn't even washed the conditioner out of my hair and I was late to work. Not off to a good start.
At noon my co-workers and I headed downtown for a luncheon we were hosting for museum donors. How wonderful, the bank was paying for the lunch. Too bad everything has meat in it. One bowl of pasta salad out of the 15 options-- this better be good, cause its all I can eat. Pesto pasta usually has nuts, so I ask a waiter if I'm okay to eat it. I am assured I will be fine.
Three-fourths of my way through my pile of pasta, and comfortably into our lecture on cosmic collisions, I spy a pine nut on my plate. Try not to panic. Is this garlic, or a pine nut? I've played this game before.
I discreetly sneak to the back of the room to ask another waiter as I notice my lips starting to puff. They confirm it is pine nuts- Jerks! Didn't we go over this before I started eating it! I go out to the hall to find my happy place. Hopefully relaxing will slow the reaction. I really don't feel like a trip to the emergency room today, especially when the room is full of people I have invited and am supposed to be schmoozing. After a while my voice has dropped and its hard to swallow, but it doesn't seem to be getting worse. Lucky for me, I think I'd managed to avoid eating an actual nut, and was just reacting to the oil.
So what is that all about? Could it be that I was, in fact, having the worst day ever? Or at least the weirdest day ever? To build my case further, should I add to the list the awkward large conference room bridal shower I was forced to attend later that day for the bitchy chick in another department that I never talk to? Should I also add that I got stuck in Cubs traffic on the way home and it took me an hour and 20 minutes to drive 10 miles? And that I really had to pee the whole time?
I made things better that night by taking to my bed and enjoying my benadryl induced nights sleep beginning at 7:30 pm. But I am determined to be positive. Because hey, when a day sucks that bad, things can only get better from there.

Dilema

I have decided I need everyone's advice. I am frequently ashamed of my taste in music and keep my favorite songs a secret from most people. Lately I have been loving this one particular song on the radio and getting excited every time it comes on in the car. Then I learned, to my horror, that the song is by Miley Cyrus--- I hate her and am almost too humiliated to admit this! So here is my question: are there just some songs you can't like, regardless of how much fun they are to dance too? I feel this may be the song. What do you think? Take my poll and help me decide!

Bargain Buster!

I am totally excited about an amazing stream of shopping luck I've had lately. Indulge me for a moment, will you?
So last week in a desperate attempt to shrug off winter and brighten up my life I went on a major shopping spree! (Okay, $100. Lets not get carried away, its still me we're talking about.) I went to the Gap and bought 4 shirts, some pants, a dress and a cute cropped jacket! For $100! I was gorgeous!
Fast forward one week. I have displayed my hotness with new clothes all week. Except I'm having second thoughts about the jacket. I went back to the Gap to think about returning it when low-and-behold, the price has been cut in half again. I hate that!
So I asked for the difference in price, and figured if they didn't give it to me I would just return it anyway. When I presented my receipt, they gave me the difference, no questions asked- 15 new dollars, yeah!
When I got home, I realized I had given them the wrong receipt and they'd given me the difference on the pair of pants I bought. (Long story about why I had two receipts.) So I went back again today with the other receipt with the jacket- and got even more money off not only the jacket but another shirt that had also gotten cheaper. Apparently Gap has a policy of honoring price changes up to two weeks from the date of purchase. Who knew? I ended up with $35 back today, making my original shopping spree last week, like, the cheapest ever!
So I am feeling not only hot, but very good about myself and my budget. Maybe I am a complete loser for nickle-and-diming them, but I now have money to get a pedicure and splurge on coffee many times this month. And that is hot!

1 Million Degrees

Josie has been super sick for the last several days! She is finally now recovering from one of those random childhood illnesses that brings on a very high fever but no other symptoms (thank goodness). We woke up on Sunday at 8 am and she was still not up yet. When we went to check on her she was just laying there and barely could muster up the energy to say hello. Poor little stinker!
She laid around in her jammies for a few days and her fever got all the way to 105! We did some serious Barney watching and intense snuggling. She didn't want to eat or play (when she doesn't want to play with her farm, you know there's a problem). On Monday I was getting ready for work, but her sadness at seeing me leave was too much for me. I decided to stay home and play nurse one more day.
That night Josie couldn't fall asleep. I finally went in her room and took her out of her crib to rock her and snuggle her. This is something I hadn't done since she was a newborn.
Is it wrong that I secretly loved these few sick days? Of course I hated that she felt so terrible and wanted her to get better immediately. But I am always the one having to go to work and leave Russ to take care of Josie. I don't get that awesome I'm-really-taking-good-care-of-her Mom feeling often, especially now that she is getting so big. There was something so great about knowing that she really needed me. It was better than any power-suit-wearing-great-sale-kinda-day at work in the office. Sometimes its the simple days at home when you feel really good about who you are. And man, I needed that.

Happy Easter- Don't hate for being late

I seem to have some kind of innate inability to post pictures of events as they happen. So here are Easter pictures a week late!

As a side note, I am baking chocolate chip cookies right now. I thought putting these pictures up would be a good project while they bake! Mmmmm....

Anyway, here are some pictures from our adventure out east! Josie's first trip to Pennsylvania since she was 6 months old. And the first flight since the debacle in January. Yikes!

Josie was very excited about wearing her new Easter dress! And she wore the hat all day, everywhere she went. Even in her car seat. It was a struggle to get her to take it off for her nap!

Dressed and ready to go to Church! The whole pack of half-sisters, quarter-sisters and husbands packed in to see Sharon play violin during the Church program. Josie was blown away by this mega-Church and the rock concert they put on for Easter. There were even girls dressed as angels dancing at the end- probably the most exciting moment of Josie's life. She is still talking about it and showing us their moves!

After Church we hunted for Easter eggs! Josie found her basket with a new pair of shades, courtesy Auntie Heather/Easter bunny.

On the hunt for eggs! Quarter-Auntie McKenzie and her baby, Felix, joined the party as did amateur videographer, Auntie Heather.

Hmmm... If I were a two-year old, where would I be able to find Easter eggs? How about just laying randomly in the grass? Auntie Heather and Mom (aka Easter Bunnies) didn't do a lot of actual hiding...

Assessing the Easter spoils! Sharon (Kim and Heather's Mom), Kim and I help Josie figure out which jelly beans to eat and which to give to Dad.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Kiss me, I'm Irish!

Another Day, Another Collection of Weird Emails from My Parents

This morning I started my work day with an interesting email in my inbox. My Dad had sent me a letter to the editor from the Minneapolis newspaper. See below:

Letter of the day: Supportive wives need to get a little mad
Star Tribune

What's wrong with the wronged wives of politicians, allowing themselves to be dragged out in front of the cameras to be further humiliated by their betraying husbands?

Can't they say, "No way, pig"?

And, if the stated intention of the news conference is for the politician to resign, and he doesn't, wifey should grab his buttocks and dig in her nails, whispering in his ear, "Resign, stupid, before I grab some other part of your anatomy and hurt you real bad in front of all these nice people."
If they are not tough enough to do that, then they should just stay home. Please! And take their phony "support" with them.

N. BAKER, ST. LOUIS PARK

As I read I was thinking "This woman has an interesting point. Not sure why my Dad emailed this to me, though." Then I saw the name at the bottom and threw up in my mouth. Holy Hell, that's my mother. ACK!

To lighten the mood I returned my Dad's email with a stupid forward about aging. It had pictures of movie stars in their prime coupled with considerably less flattering photos of them today. Hardy Har. Schwartzenegger's got man boobs. Everyone's laughing, right? This was my Dad's response:

"Getting older is just plain unkind! You'll get yours, unless you die prematurely."

Unless I DIE PREMATURELY? What kind of cauldren was he stirring when he wrote that? I guess all the hilarious comebacks I was expecting got sidelined on that one. And thanks for the alternative-- that if I don't die prematurely, at least I will "get mine."

Here's to the Cleavers!

Bye-Bye Ba-Ba

This past weekend I suddenly realized I was officially the mother of a little girl. Josie, Russ and I had a very full weekend of family activities that we all enjoyed. On Saturday we went to the Nature Museum and Josie was in the mix with the big kids, having fun playing with all of the interactive exhibits. Then on Sunday we spent the morning outside while Josie marched through puddles in her rain boots. In the afternoon Josie and I made chocolate chip cookies together. I had so much fun with her! But, I have to admit that I got a little emotional about my best buddy Josie. The baby part of her is drifting so quickly into the past.

I was reminded of a time when I was little and doing some clothes shopping with my Mom. I was in a pink stage (not really out of that yet) and picked out a pink sweatshirt with little gems on it. It had taken me years to learn the real word for those gems- I used to pronounce it “grindstones.” Cognizant of trying to speak right, I said “I like this one with the rhinestones.” I thought my Mom would be impressed that I’d gotten it right, but instead she got teary and said “oh no! The last of your baby words is gone!”

I had the same feeling this weekend when I noticed Josie give up a mainstay of babyhood- no longer acknowledging animal names by their sounds, but by the real words. No more “ba-ba” but the real “Sheep” instead. Also gone were “neigh-neigh”, “meow-meow,” and my personal favorite for bunny, “hop-hop.” I am proud of her for talking like a big girl, but sad to see those cute baby favorites go away!

Paint It Black!

Josie sees a red door and she wants to paint it black. No colors anymore, she wants everything to be black. At least in her Barney coloring book. Should I be worried that Josie will only color with her black crayon? She has a whole box of colors and she refuses to use them. And to make it even weirder, she is really into eye color right now. So when she starts coloring, she wants to color the eyes... the end result would make a child pyschologist drool. On every page are cheesy dinosaurs with their eyes blacked out, and sometimes even their mouths. Then, adding to the weirdness, Russ and Josie made me a Valentine for Valentine's Day. Russ used pink construction paper to cut out some hearts and wrote "Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy!" in red. Josie then drew all over it in black. Is Josie ahead of her time with a statement representing a desire for freedom from manufactured holidays? Or is she the world's first goth two year old?

I don't see the point

I wanted some hot chocolate this morning but all I had was white hot chocolate left over from Christmas. I attempted a few drinks and realized it had kind of a coconut thing going on and was frankly not nearly as appetizing as regular hot chocolate. I made a mental note of not seeing the point of white chocolate. It doesn't taste like anything but creamy sugar. If I am going to invest in the calories, I might as well enjoy the taste of actual chocolate. Which led me to make a list of things for which I do not see the point:

1. White Chocolate

2. New kinds of pop- Why are Coke and Pepsi always coming out with new kinds of cola? My Dad helped me understand Coke Zero, but now they have a coke with vitamins? Is this to improve super model scurvy rates?

3. Extra huge rolls of toilet paper- is it really that hard to change the roll? This is turning into the 5-6-7-8-9- blade razor contest. Now they even have to sell roll extenders.

4. Rumer Willis- She's starting to think she's a hollywood starlet. But let me break it to you easy- she is heinous.

Get me home before I #$%^&*#@$%^!!!!

I have just completed the worst, most complicated travel experience of my life. Let me break it down for you.

Friday, February 1:

Beginning this crusade was a two day trip to Iowa for my Grandfather's super sad funeral. On Thursday, Russ and I drove back to Illinois in a blizzard causing our three hour drive to take more than 6. Waking up in Sycamore on Friday, we had to turn around quickly to head home. I have plane tickets for a previously scheduled trip to Minneapolis. Its hectic, but I'm excited to see Mona and Josie is all about airplanes so its actually kind of fun.

Saturday: Super fun day with Mona and her new baby, Andrew! We capture their first kiss on film. Really great day and hardly any arguing about politics with her Bush-backer hubby, Jon.
Sunday: Josie and I head to a day with Plank relatives at Jane's house. Its so fun, I am miserable when its time to leave for the airport to go home.

4:00: Arrive at Minneapolis airport with Josie. I make my way through ridiculous security. They force Josie to put Pooh through the xray thing and even have her take her shoes off and walk through the metal detector. She is suspected of being a terrorist.

4:30: Dang! My flight is delayed 45 minutes! Some problem with not having the right pilot. Whatever, Josie and I walk around checking out the airport scene.

5:30: Time to board! We'll be home soon!

6:30: After sitting on the plane for an hour and doing nothing, the airline tells us the flight has randomly been CANCELLED. They kick us off and tell us to rebook the flight. Apparenty they still couldn't find a pilot.

7:15: Hooray, maybe this isn't too bad, we got on another flight right away. We take off and head to Midway. Can't wait to see Russ! The flight attendants are giving us updates on the Superbowl.

8:15: Flight attendants, prepare for landing. I can see Midway out the window! Hooray!

8:20: What's happening? Why are we not landing? A flight attendant comes over the loudspeaker and says "Bad news, folks. The weather has gotten bad and the visibility is down to zero. We have to turn around and fly back to Minneapolis." I choke on my gum. This has to be a joke, right?

9:30: Um, no, its not a joke, because here I am getting off the plane in Minneapolis exactly where I started 6 hours before. Only this time the airline has lost my stroller and my luggage. They finally find my stroller but by the time I can get to the ticket counter there are no more flights scheduled until tomorrow. I have to call my Dad, but he doesn't answer because he's at a superbowl party. I am now stranded and living like the people on Lost!

10:00 pm: I finally get a hold of my Dad and he is coming to get me at the airport. The airline has lost my carseat as well, so I ride in the backseat of my Dad's car with Josie in my lap hoping we don't go over a bridge or something.

11:00 pm: We get home and I put Josie in one of MaryBeth's shrunken t-shirts for sleep. Josie is screaming and freaking out. Where am I, what's up with this t-shirt, who is this MaryBeth character, and why am I not at home. We sleep together that night. Josie wakes up every couple of hours to make sure I am still there.

Monday:

8:00 am: Wake up and assess the damage. Schedule a new flight. My Dad goes to buy Josie some extra diapers.

10:45 am: Head for the airport for another attempt. My Dad helps me and tries to talk security into letting him come wait at the gate with me, but I am not disabled so they kick him out. We say good bye and it is not until I reach the gate that the computer tells me my flight is cancelled AGAIN. I call my Dad as fast as I can so he doesn't leave the airport with out his two vagabond ladies.

All day we watch the computer as flight after flight is cancelled. All in all 6 flights I was scheduled to take home are cancelled. I talk to Russ and he tells me that more bad weather is coming to Chicago, and if I can't get home today I might be stuck in Minneapolis until Thursday! In mid-afternoon, another snow storm also hits Minneapolis.

10:40 pm: We head to the airport in the fluke chance we might actually get home on this red-eye flight. The northwest employees seem doubtful. But they board the plane and we are heading out. 10 minutes before we land, they say something about needing to circle the airport because they can't land due to fog. I experience acid flash backs and start sweating. But suddenly, we are on the ground and home!

By Wednesday I am back at work. Besides waiting another day for my luggage and enduring a 4-hour power outage on Tuesday night (a vast Republican conspiracy to keep people from voting on Super Tuesday), its almost like things are back to normal. I can't wait to fly again!

Whistlin' Dixon

Last weekend the Johnson family embarked on an all day drive to Iowa to visit relatives. Josie was a trooper in the car, but we still needed to stop occasionally to let her run around. Which led us to the portal to hell known as the McDonald's in Dixon, IL.

Everyone knows that McDonald's is scary. But this was like no other. This is where the SuperNanny rejects go to die. We walked in, went to the playland and were instantly emerged in mass chaos. There were a collection of women with some children and it never became clear which child belonged to which parent. All women were free to yell and threaten any one of them. One woman in a Budweiser t-shirt was having a tug-of-war with two kids over a highchair. The boy, probably 5, was dressed in a dirty dalmatian costume with scabs on his face and was pulling on one side of a highchair he wanted a ride in (logically). The 3 year old girl was dressed in a dirty grey sweatsuit, three sizes too small at least, with a black crown on the front that and the word "Princess" in gothic lettering. Her role was to scream and wipe snot on her sleeve. Around that time a few other kids started crying, three girls came out of the tube slide at once and hurt themselves, therefore also crying, and a few more women yelled at other kids to shut up.

Every child was covered in snot, ketchup, and actual streaks of dirt. Russ and I were covered in disgust. Josie said "What the F$&%?!" (Well, that was the gist of it at least.)

Josie was freaked out so I went with her into an area where you could throw balls into hoops and baskets. In two seconds I had kids all over me. I literally had a kid attached to each leg and another wanting to be picked up. The dirty dalmatian guy was showing me some kind of half-baked handstand and the other ketchup kids were competing for my attention. I felt like frickin' Kris Kringle with the world's children on my knees. Only this was kind of sad because it was so obvious they had had so little attention from their parents that anyone that talked to them would do. I played with the kids for a half hour and no parent even seemed to notice. Apparently there is no stranger danger in McDonald's play land.

In the meantime, Russ was watching, totally weirded out, from our table. A little girl with hair that had never been washed or brushed was near him playing with blocks and singing "I turn around, I touch the ground, and I wiggle it! Just a little bit!" She repeated this about 100 times while she was playing. Ooh, the next American Idol!

When it was time to go I anticipated Josie would cry because she didn't want to get in the car. But instead several of the ketchup kids started to cry. They wanted me to stay with them. It was sad and creepy--- and snot covered. My sympathy only goes so far. I wanted to get the hell out of there and dunk Josie in a container of bleach. Maybe this is why those mothers are so dedicated to their Budweisers. And why I don't live in Dixon.

Josie Glamour Shots- Best of December 2007

Because I have been sorely lacking in Josie photos lately, here are a collection of pictures from December for you all to enjoy.

Josie rocked the full snow suit for her first day of snow! Unfortunately we bought a size bigger so she could grow into it, which translates to her being barely able to walk. The perfect pink snowman!

Josie and her entourage--- She was really into all the ribbons that came with presents from Auntie Heather. She made us put ribbons on all her guys, then requested we take this picture. Not in picture: Russ and Gena also covered in ribbons.

My personal favorite-- Josie's love of Beethoven moves out of the stuffed animal realm and onto the actual piano. Her new favorite is to sit on my lap while we play songs.

This is why I hate dentists

Last month I had one of the worst days ever. I had to go the dentist. Long story short, I hadn't been in a while and I had to have a filling replaced. Whatever. So I made an appointment to come in one day after work. Running a little late, I found myself driving in circles outside the dentist's office without time to find a decent parking place. I finally found a spot 6 blocks away and at a meter. I recently created a resolution to stop spending money on coffee, so had taken to scrounging for change to pay for it with coins. (Everyone knows paying for things in change doesn't count as spending real money, right?) Just that morning I'd enjoyed a delicious vanilla latte but now I had no quarters for the meter. But the appointment won't take that long, right? I'm going for it!
I got to my appointment and the dentist assured me the procedure would only take a few minutes. He gave me my first Novocaine injection and we settled into awkward small talk. Hate the appointment already. Hate dentists, hate injections, and hate small talk. After a few minutes he was ready to get going. But when he started poking around I could still feel everything. Figuring he must not have gone deep enough, he gave me another shot. A few more minutes passed by and he started drilling.... but I could still feel everything! He gave me a total of 5 Novocaine shots but for some reason the nerve would not get numb. I was numb from my hairline to my shoulder with a squinty eye like Quasi Modo. But I felt everything as he dug out my old filling, drilled a new hole and refilled it. Finally I went outside, biting a piece of cotton to keep from chewing my tongue and what did I find on my car? A parking ticket!
I could not stand for this string of injustice! I should not have to endure a parking ticket after what I'd been through, even if I'd never put any quarters in the meter. Who cares if the ticket was only $10!
So I did what anyone would do--- contested the ticket! I went online to plead my case. Your honor, its not my fault, the appointment was so terrible, you have to feel bad enough for me to not make me pay this ticket.
I submitted it and awaited vindication. Evanston, known for being a town where bowling is illegal, could not also be super sticklers about tickets, could they?
Um, yes, apparently they can. Today I got the results and, low and behold, I did not get vindicated. I thought I would totally have that $10 back to spend on more coffee. But apparently Evanston felt strongly that I should have yet another reason to hate the dentist.

Ho Ho Huh?

This year Josie became like every other child in America--- obsessed with Santa. Every night before bed she would say "ho ho ho?" as in "is this the night?" She was loving it!

I couldn't wait for the classic Santa pictures this year. But Russ was diabolically opposed to waiting in a line at the mall to have our picture taken with some weirdo in a beard. So when I saw that Santa was coming to downtown Evanston I was thrilled.

We showed up to see him near the end of the day hoping all the psycho moms would be gone and the line would be short. But it wasn't exactly short... more like non-existant. And it wasn't exactly Santa's village. In this bizarre scenerio, Santa was set up in the elevator lobby of the parking lot next to Barnes and Noble.

We walked through the doors and Josie was beside herself with excitement yelling "ho ho ho!!!" and, like us, looking for her favorite fat man. But, the entire hall was empty and we were accosted by a blaring security alarm. A disgruntled employee explained that someone had bumped into an exit sign and they couldn't figure out how to turn off the alarm. Oh, and Santa was on break and would be back soon.

When Santa emerged Josie's excitement vanished. Apparently in Josie's world, Santa is only cool in theory. He broke out into some awesome ho-ho-ho's, but she would still not go anywhere near him. We said "Josie, what do you want to tell Santa?" She said "please?" At least she has excellent manners!

After 10 awkward, ear-piercing minutes, Josie would have nothing to do with Santa's lap. So I picked her up and we took a weird picture with me and Santa smiling, and Josie looking like she was about to shoot out of a canon. They gave us a bag of muffler shop and tanning salon coupons and we headed out the door. Josie turned around for one last goodbye, just as Santa answered his cell phone saying "yeah, we're getting outta here early." Ah, the spirit of Christmas.

I'm not going anywhere near that guy.

If I ignore you, you will go away. And what's with that f-ing alarm?