Back To Work Blues

Despite my efforts to ignore it, the day I was dreading finally came-- the end of my maternity leave. After 17 weeks home with the family, I was finally forced to face the reality that I still had to work for a living. We can't all be Paris Hilton. (Thank God, but still, you get my point.)

These details of my first day back will henceforth be known as my prison diary.

June 8: Day 1 in Prison
Adam wakes up to eat at 5 am. I then shower and start getting ready for work. This is depressing enough, as I used to be able to sleep in. Waaa for me.

Sometime around 6:30 Josie wakes up. I go in to get her and she is looking at me strangely. Finally, she says "you're not wearing your glasses..." Its true, my contacts are in, make up is on and I'm clearly not ready to cuddle and watch cartoons like usual. I tell her I am going to work today, then leave the room to go cry.

Somehow I managed to finish getting ready and even feed Adam one more time before my friend Rosie comes to pick me up. She has offered to carpool this week so I can have some moral support. When she calls to say she is downstairs, I feel outright panic. I try to make leaving quick and painless and dash out the door. I am sobbing by the time I hit the street.

Rosie does her best to cheer me up, and we finally get to work. When I get to my office, its like time has stood still! Since I abruptly quit working to go on bedrest, I still have phone messages scribbled and laying on my desk. My sweater is hanging over my chair. Its a little creepy!

The day goes quickly. I show everyone from my friends to the homeless people on the street my pictures of Adam. I don't cry-- until its time to pump. Then I realize I won't be feeding my little man during the day anymore. Cry, cry, cry.

Finally the end of the day! I am finally released from my day-stint in prison! I get home and run up the stairs crying. Josie is exploding with excitement to see me, and I can't stop hugging her. After bedtime I realize I have to repeat this routine not only tomorrow, but 5 days a week for the rest of time. I spend the night sobbing until Russ makes me go to bed.

The rest of the week went at times agonizingly slow, and other times quickly. Of course, on Wednesday I forgot my pump at home and my boobs nearly exploded. The worst part was watching Josie's confusion grow more every day. It was like "okay, you can be gone one day." But as she woke up to me getting ready every morning, she didn't like it. When I told her I was going to work again, she would say "oh. Okay, Mommy" and then just sit there with her head down looking sad. It was so heartbreaking!

All of this just makes me that much more grateful for the absolute GIFT of my maternity leave. Although its been miserable being away from everyone, I feel like this was a stolen season that I will never forget. Now I just hope going to work can get easier!

Good Bye Clown Car

First, let me apologize for taking so long between posts. The Johnsons have been a very busy family! Besides the usual struggle to get all 4 of us dressed and functioning in society, we have had some exciting visitors. But one of the biggest highlights of the last month is buying our new car!

I, of course, recognized the need for a new car somewhere in my third trimester, when my pregnancy hormones caused rage at even the most modest of inconveniences. Every time I had to get my huge self into the car and ride with my knees on the dashboard I became irate.

Russ and I didn't exactly see eye-to-eye on this issue. He felt that since the car was running fine, we had no need for a new one. But as soon as Adam was born, and all 4 of us were forced into such close quarters, it became clear to all involved that we were, in fact, driving a clown car.

After a solid month of my subtle suggestions (read: my singing circus music at the sight of our car, or asking where the jugglers would fit in the back seat) Russ finally got sick of me and agreed to look at some new cars. VICTORY!

Now here's where things get interesting. The play-by-play of our big shopping day:

10 am: After two hours of coordinating, feeding, dressing, and general mayhem, all the Johnson's were finally on our way to the dealership. However, when we got there, we learned we were an hour early. Of course, timing is the secret to successful outings with a newborn. We were distressed, but not lost! A quick stop at the grocery store would occupy Josie and give me time to feed Adam.

11 am: We're finally back at the dealership and looking at cars! Too bad its raining as we're trying to check out what's on the lot. I'm covering Adam with a blanket as he starts crying. Josie has dropped her stuffed animal in a puddle and is distraught.

11:30: We see one we like, time for a test drive! We move both car seats from one car to the new one and take it for a spin. The salesmen is quite a trooper continues to casually talk cargo space over the sound of Adam screaming and Josie interrupting.

12:00: We are in love. The Mazda 5 is the car for us! However, this one is used with lots of miles. Much discussion must take place in this guy's office. But Josie has had her fill of car dealerships and has taken to running and screaming all over the showroom.

12:05: Johnson Clown Car is taken in for trade-in appraisal. Mortification hits us as we realize the car was not only filthy, but actually filled with helium balloons--- a gift to the kids from the grocery store! Clown car indeed!

12:30: We escape the salesman to go home and "discuss." We have been gone a full hour and a half longer than we'd planned to and both Josie and Adam are starving and coming unglued. We hit the nearest Subway, then head home for naptime.

2:00: Russ and I have decided we love the Mazda 5. Its a cool cross-over on the outside, and like a mini-mini-van on the inside. I love it! Russ decides to casually browse the Mazda dealership near our house and see if a new one would offer a better deal. He plans to be home in an hour.

4:00: Russ is still not home. Interesting.

4:05: Text messages begin. Russ is negotiating with a salesman! Who knew my husband had these types of skills. Russ successfully talks the sales guy down about $7000 on the price of the car. Amazing! However, he is texting and calling every 5 minutes with updates and Josie is getting pissed because I am not painting with her. Adam wakes up and needs to eat. Suddenly things are getting a little pear shaped.

5:00: The deal is done! But now I need to go to the dealership to sign papers. Russ comes to pick us up as I slap a sandwich together to feed Josie on the way. Adam is distraught and screaming. I am wearing pajama pants. The Johnsons get to the dealership like the stars of a bad sitcom.

6:00: We have been made to wait for an hour. Josie is so bored she could die. I am forced to nurse Adam in a small waiting area, which is more than a little embarrassing. Finally, we are called into the manager's office to sign paperwork.

6:15: Adam is beyond screaming. He is clearly being murdered. Josie is whining and wanting me to go look at other cars with her. I am trying to sign papers while bouncing Adam. The sleazy salesman continues to try to upsell us some warranty and I can barely hear him over Adam's screaming. I almost do a sweet roundhouse on this guy's a$$!

6:30: Josie: "I have to poop!" I am now carrying a screaming Adam around the dealership with Josie and looking for a restroom. We find one, but Josie is too scared to use it. I have to hold her on the potty with one hand, with Adam screaming in the other. When Josie is done, she says "my poop looks like a hot dog!" and wants to hang out in there discussing it.

7:00: Adam has finally calmed down and we are ready to get in our car and head home. Thank goodness! But the maintenance guys have to do a bunch of mumbo jumbo and we must wait another hour. I have lost any semblance of politeness and scream "I will cut you!" to anyone who attempts to delay us. (Well, at least with my eyes.)

8:00: HOORAY! We are finally done buying a car, for the love of God! We have our new super cool, brand new Mazda 5! All the Johnson's are too exhausted to do anything but go home and get into bed, but we have accomplished something fantastic! Not only can we afford this car, but it is awesome. And its over!!!

Who knew I could love a Mom-mobile so much? Our new car!

Happy Birthday Josie!!

Today was Josie's 3rd birthday party!

Her birthday is not until Wednesday May 6, but we got lucky and celebrated today on one of the most beautiful days of the spring! Our friend Shamra, who has babysat for Josie for two years, came over to lead a "nature walk." Josie and two of her friends made binoculars, then walked from our house to the park to discover some nature! Josie tries out her new specs and hoped to find squirels and goats... we got one out of two, but I think she was pleased.

Here's Josie's friend Greta on the go!

Friend Franny finds a butterfly and is totally psyched!

Keeping in mind we are dealing with two- and three-year olds, I didn't know how much of an attention span they would have. And, as guessed, as soon as they saw the park they hit the equipment and the nature walk was history. But they all had a great time playing in the sun!

Time for birthday cake-- don't get excited, I definitely outsourced this! Its not as nice as something Kimmy would make, but Josie loved it!

Delicious!

On the way home, Franny and Josie remembered the whole "finding nature" thing again and stopped to check out a giant ant colony. Gross! But I guess, whatever the birthday girl wants she can get... at least for today.

Josie's friends went home and we opened presents after things quieted down. She got some fun new toys, but her favorite was her new Cowgirl costume! She hasn't taken it off all day and even wanted to sleep in it tonight. Playing dress-up is so gold!

All in all a successful birthday!

All uphill from here

This past week has been even better. I am definitely hitting my stride in my new "two kid" world. Josie continues to adjust to Adam (and his crying spells) and I am even starting to find time to eat and shower. This is great!

In the meantime, here are a few photos of the brood from the past week.

Benjamin Button takes his first bath in a tub- no more sponge baths for this little guy! (And why is it that newborn boys all look like little old men?)

Thanks for covering up my parts, Mom!

Josie has been really into all things baby and she and her baby have been inseparable. On Saturday, Josie and I went to the park. I pushed Adam in his stroller, and Josie pushed her baby in her toy stroller. Josie is also fascinated by the baby bjorn, so when she discovered her baby's carrier could be worn like a baby bjorn, she was psyched!

Josie carrying her baby around everywhere she goes, just like Mommy and Adam!

Look what Russ does when I leave the room for one minute. I expect there will be many more pictures like this to come!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone!

Today is a great day for the Johnson family because Josie is FINALLY recovered from her week-long flu (the worst flu she's ever had- great timing, kid!) that also infected Russ and me. And with fevers subsided, we actually pulled ourselves together enough to celebrate the holiday!

Yesterday Josie and I dyed eggs for the first time- no plastic eggs this year. Josie did a great job and only stained her shirt a little. :)

Before bed we set out her awesome eggs with some carrots and a little water for the Easter Bunny. Let the fun begin!

We knew we did not have it together enough to get all the family dressed and to Church, but Josie was too excited about wearing her Easter dress. So we got her all dressed up and let her dance around the house a bit. Then we went outside to look for eggs!

Hottie 2.0 gets in on some Easter fun by staying awake for more than 10 minutes. Way to go Adam!

Let the search begin!

Finding eggs....

Adam partakes in a little Easter Egg hunting. Too bad he's pretty much sleeping through it...

Searching for eggs is tiring....

The most hilarious egg- for some reason Josie was incapable of finding this last egg. Russ took a picture of her practically standing on it, yet still not seeing it!

Victory! All eggs are found and back in the house. Only a few casualties... every time Josie found one, she would spike it down into her basket in celebration. I don't think she really grasped the whole "real eggs are fragile" thing...

A successful first holiday as a family of four!

Welcome Home Baby Adam!!!

Tomorrow is Adam's 3 week birthday, and I can't believe how fast these past few days have gone! Its far past time to post pictures of my little man, so here they are. Feast your eyes on this stud muffin!

He's just so cute and snuggly in his bouncy seat!

Wide awake and checking out his new home (and listening to his sister talking!) He always looks so serious!

Josie has been totally into her new baby brother! After a few days she has gotten used to the crying, and while she definitely is adjusting to having less attention, she doesn't take it out on Adam. She wants to kiss him and "help" me take care of him all the time!

A little male bonding time. Russ is so excited that he will not spend the rest of his life surrounded by females!

Tummy time!

Favorite Josie Quote of the Day

To set the stage: Mom and Josie were listening to music during dinner.

Josie: Who is singing this song?
Mom: Its a band called Interpol.
Josie: Hey!! Santa lives in Interpol!!!

Russ and I are the greatest parents ever- too bad Josie didn't notice

Well folks, I am pregnant and cranky. Real pregnant. And REAL cranky. And I think I am driving everyone near me crazy with my bad attitude (read: Russ). So on Sunday, Russ decided he needed to get me out of the house. So, after reading the crapload of "preparing your child for the new baby" materials we got from the hospital, we decided to do an all out "Big Sister Extravaganza" for Josie.

We decided we would first take Josie to Target and let her pick out a new toy- anything she wanted. This is something we have never done before. Then we planned to take her to a totally kid-friendly restaurant and fill her up with amazing kid food. Maybe she'd even get dessert. I mean, this is big time.

We got Josie up from her nap and gave her an amazing speech. "Josie, we are so proud of you for being such a big girl! You are such a good girl, and now you are even going to be a big sister!!!" We poured it on thick. We told her about getting a new toy at Target. Then we paused and waited for the excitement and adoration to flow. Then Josie noticed a book had fallen off her book shelf and went to go straighten it. Then she asked Russ if he would read her one of her old Highlights magazines. Hmm.

So we left for Target. Josie was not thinking about new toys, but demanding we play Elvis CD's during the drive. Then she was demanding we play the CORRECT Elvis CD's during the drive. And at the correct volume. Serenity now!

We get to Target. Josie is now totally psyched, as are we. We never spoil her like this, and buying her a non-Christmas or Birthday present seemed like an awesome adventure. She had the pick of the store and lots of time to choose. New Barbie??? Sweet Disney Princess action set??? Fairy Costume??? The options are endless!!! But for what does Josie make a beeline? The odd wall of 3-inch plastic animals. Under the section that sells creepy Dragons, Lords, and Gargoyles. She is now literally lying on the floor of target playing with a creepy plastic swan-thing and frickin' loving it. After an hour, we left Target with a baby tiger, baby coyote, kangaroo, and horse. Wow.

Now was the next phase of our extravaganza-- dinner. As many of you know, Russ and I are ardent vegetarians, and have been for nearly a decade. And we are raising Josie vegetarian as well. However, we are conscious of giving Josie a well-rounded childhood and recognize that- to our disgust- this must include Happy Meals. So that's right folks-- we took her to McDonald's.

We ordered Josie a Happy Meal and let the fun begin. She did totally love it. She went all out on the fries and even ate half a hamburger (yikes). Yet again she baffled us, as instead of loving the other kids and the crappy food, she seemed more into the fact that there was a baseball game on tv in the corner. ("Look Daddy, Baseball players!!!!!" Baffling!)

All was redeemed at the end of the dinner when Russ bought her a sweet vanilla twist cone. It was the size of her head, and took a lot of help from Daddy to eat it all, but it was probably the most exciting moment of Josie's life. And Josie's total love of the random plastic animals did warm our hearts a bit. So while Josie may not have grasped the "special-ness" of the night, and the occasion, at least it was a great night for us.

Josie eats the greatest ice cream cone ever! (Note her plastic animals on the table...)

Victory! Day is finally confirmed as the greatest- thanks to a little ice cream!

Brace yourself for something high-tech

My friends Anna and Jill came to visit me last week to take pity on the poor pregnant lady with no access to the outside world. Jill brought her new-fangled digital camera that also takes video and made this little clip of Josie doing more sweet ballet moves. I am attempting to post it here, but seeing as I have very poor computer skills, we'll see if it works!

Boredom, nesting, and too much HGTV

I am officially 18 days from the induction date for ole baby Johnson. And as I have not been to work in three weeks, I have way too much time to sit around and generally panic about the fact that there will soon be another baby in this house!

The other night Russ and I sat down and really thought about how we were going to make our condo-- which used to seem big, hahahaha-- adapt to 2 kids and an enormous amount of kid STUFF. After talking about it, arguing about it, and trying to ignore it, we decided to try something crazy. We are turning our sun room into the baby's room!

Russ and I immediately went into mourning, because the sun room is our favorite part of the house. But after thinking about this a lot, I do think it makes sense. At least until I win the HGTV Dream Home Give-Away.

Please indulge me as I show some pictures of our new "renovation":

The first step was taking all baby stuff out of Josie's room and re-arranging everything. We put all the things (including the couch!) that used to be in the sun room in Josie's room and basically made this the coolest bedroom ever.

(Note the 35 stuffed animals on her bed that she sleeps with EVERY night! Also, yes... that's an Elvis poster by her bed. She LOVES Elvis, which is so gold.)

Without the baby stuff in here, there was a ridiculous amount of space, which is awesome! And who wouldn't want a kitchen in their room?

The second step was putting all the baby stuff in the sun room. Again, there was more space in here than we originally thought, too. We easily fit the crib, changing table, and a rocking chair.

Russ's Mom is coming this weekend to help me sew some thick curtains to keep out any drafts and hopefully some of the noise from the street. We will also make a curtain of some sort to separate this room from the living room when baby is sleeping. The final step is when I get to go shopping for a cute rug.

So there it is! Is it white trash to turn a sun room into a baby's room? I hope not. Is it a resourceful use of space? I hope so! If nothing else, its a great project that is keeping me from re-grouting the bathroom and generally driving Russ crazy with nesting related to-do lists. So I guess if that's all this accomplishes, that's still a good thing.

Ballet Your Brains Out

Finally, the moment I have been waiting for since I learned I was the mother of a girl.... the Ballerina stage!!!
When I was three I spent about 6 months in a Fairy Princess Costume- a glittery tutu and wand combo, complete with one of my Mom's beauty queen tiaras. Awesome!
Josie got a tutu for Christmas and wasn't paying much attention to it... until she saw some ballerinas on Sesame Street. Now its all tutu all the time! She even wears it to her play classes and the rec center, to Russ's mortification. She puts it on over her clothes, then breaks out her new pair of jellies (which she thinks make her a better dancer, and who am I to disagree?)
See below for the photo montage of her sweet ballet skills!

Josie practices a pirouette-- what grace!

Josie tries one of the fancy leg lifts she saw on Sesame Street--- no ballet pole in the Johnson house, but I guess anything to hold on to will do. That's what all the ballerina's say.

A little tip-toe action. Is it funnier that she looks a little drunk doing all this? Or weird?

Temporarily distracted by climbing into her new box/fort to hide. Oh well, all good things must come to an end.

36 weeks and counting

In case anyone wants to track progress... the baby is getting bigger!!! I am excited to have made it past the date they were originally going to induce. Now the doctor's say they will try and get me to 39 weeks... which is March 16. Stay tuned!

Queen Josephine of the Mountain

My favorite part about working from home (besides sweatpants and easy access to good coffee) is being a fly on the wall and watching Josie and Russ in their regular routine.

Today I was working and could hear Josie squealing and having fun outside in the snow. After watching out the window, I couldn't resist the cuteness, so I went outside to snap a few pictures.

The snow plows made a huge snow pile that Josie had a blast climbing on. Russ declared her "Queen Josephine of the Mountain" and she was loving it!

My two little snow bunnies!

Weird Science

I know I should be watching the Super Bowl right now, but I can't bring myself to care. The closest I have come to thinking about football today was reading about Jessica Simpson's amazing weight gain since dating Tony Romo. Now that's excitement!

So with that, I figured I would update everyone on the latest in my pregnancy saga. Things have gone from bad to worse. Or worse, to the most worst. But fear not! I am still being positive. More on that later.

Anyway, last Sunday night I had my worst sugar low yet. Russ and I were watching a movie when I suddenly started shaking. It took 24 oz. of juice (as opposed to the usual 4) and three hours of non-stop eating before the doctors where confident I would be fine. Then on my way home from work on Tuesday, my sugar dropped again and I almost crashed my car. Enough was enough!

Long story short, I spent most of this week having millions of tests done to figure out why I am so unbelievably sensitive to insulin. And here is the result of Chicago's finest in medical care: They don't know!

I am a case they have never seen before. When I don't take insulin, my blood sugar is way too high. When I take it, it gets better--- but then an hour or two later, it drops. They came up with the conclusion that something must be wrong with the baby- yikes! They took me off insulin completely, put me back on bed rest again, and did a million tests on the baby.

Here's the good news- results say the baby is totally fine. Better than fine! But here is the bad news- they still don't know what's up with my diabetes. So they are going to monitor me really closely, and as soon as it looks like the baby's lungs are developed they are going to induce me-- I could be having the baby in as little as three weeks!

Which brings me back to being positive. This ordeal is almost over, I can see the end of the road over the next hill. And with all the tests, I got to see the baby on all kinds of cool high-tech ultrasound machines, so I could see the stinkers sweet little face and see it moving around in there. And now I have even received a bonus by not having to wait the full 7 weeks to be done with this. Thinking about holding this baby so soon is helping me remember that I'm doing this to have a baby, not just because I'm a medical oddity and living in hell for the fun of it. So how's that for turning the frown upside down?

So next on the list- survive the next three weeks. Then its all babies and chocolate cake! Holla!

P.S.

Hee hee hee... Touchdown!

Turn that frown upside down!

Okay folks, in honor of Barack Obama, here is some change I can believe in. I am determined to be positive!! In my quest to enjoy pregnancy more, I have learned to embrace new kinds of cheese- a delicious no-carb snack- and have discovered that the fancy-shmancy gourmet pringles are only 1/2 carb per chip. Amazing!
Also, today I was running very late to a meeting in downtown Chicago, and was driving around and around a parking garage, only to discover a special parking area for expectant mothers right next to the elevators! It was better than being handicapped! So how's that for a positive attitude?

I also realized I have not posted any pictures of my belly. So now its time to play a new game I like to call "Beach Ball, Not a Beach Ball?"

Mommy and Numero Dos, aged 32 weeks!

And the answer is: Not a beach ball!

Only 8 weeks to go...

What's not to love?

Being pregnant is a miracle, right?

This is what I tell myself every day. I am 29 weeks pregnant, so only about 10 weeks to go. But I'm having some trouble loving this of late. Please allow me a few moments to share.

About 2 months ago, I had an unusually busy day at work and ended up spending that night in the hospital. The doctors told us we were losing the baby, and it was the worst night of my life. The next day at a check-up, despite some real problems, it turns out the nurse had just had an incredibly poor bedside manner, and the baby was going to be fine.

Fast forward to the week after that, when at a check-up the doctor said "tricked you! The baby is not fine afterall!" and put me back into a panic and onto semi-bed rest. The baby had dropped and I had contractions if I did anything but lay on my back. I had to start working from home/bed twice a week. When I was at the office, I had to spend part of my day lying on a little bed in my office. I have had very little human contact in weeks and am starting to go a little stir crazy.

Now lets move to week 27. I failed my diabetes test BIG TIME. Now I can do nothing and eat nothing. But this miracle gets even more exciting! Regardless of the strictness of my diet, the "second pregnancy" syndrome is giving me high blood sugar all day long. So yesterday (Friday) they put me on insulin. Now I give myself shots in the leg twice a day, and everyone that knows me knows how tough I am when it comes to needles. (Although, it always surprises you how tough you can be when you have to.)

Today was my first full day on insulin. I ate breakfast and everything seemed fine. A little later Russ, Josie and I were taking down Christmas decorations when I suddenly felt faint, sweaty and cold. Russ was weirded out and suggested I test my blood sugar. It was super low and we got scared. I drank some juice and soon my blood was where it should be and I felt better.

About an hour later I was doing some more cleaning when suddenly I felt very bad. I stumbled to the kitchen to get some food and then collapsed. I was shaking and couldn't talk. Russ helped me take my blood sugar and it was even lower than before- in the very scary range. Then he helped me drink juice while I was shaking like crazy- it was like something out of a movie. We called the doctor and they told us what to do, but it took me several hours until I was normal again.

I had to give myself another shot at dinner, and the same thing repeated itself about an hour later, but luckily not as bad. The doctor said you have to experiment with insulin until you find the right doses. Great, because I love being a science project and sugar lows feel terrific!

I am so thankful for my husband who has helped me with all of this. Whoever said marriage is a team sport was definitely right. Poor Russ! He is amazing though, and managed to help me and keep Josie from getting scared when she was so confused about what was happening.

Oh, and I forgot to mention-- this morning I realized I was coming down with the flu.

I know that pregnancy is a miracle and being a mother is a wonderful experience. And considering how many people can't get pregnant or lose their babies, I feel like an absolute a$$hole for complaining for even one minute. But I will admit this just once, then never speak of it again--- I am REALLY ready to be done being pregnant.