We had a very exciting event at my museum the other day. Former astronaut Dr. Harrison
Schmitt, the last man to have walked on the moon, came to our museum and my co-worker, Elizabeth, and I got to hang out with him before the event and chat about space. It was very cool! I asked him millions of questions like "were you scared to be on the moon?" (he said no) and "what did you think when they told you you were going to the moon?" (he said he thought it was about time.) Dr.
Schmitt was a senator for many years, so he was clearly used to these kinds of inane questions. But I was still loving it! I felt we were really bonding. Gena Johnson, Astronaut's New Best Friend!
Soon the event started and 1200 members showed up to meet my new best friend. The line to have their books signed by him was 2 hours long. Soon it was 10 pm and I was gazing longingly at the door. I was planning my sneak exit when Elizabeth approached me.
"Uh, Gena, you're the only one in our department with a car."
Oh crap. She's going to make me drive her home.
"Um, thank you?"
"Can you drive Dr.
Schmitt to his hotel?"
What! I know the astronaut and I are close now, but he was kind of important- driving him in my ridiculous Nissan would be
embarrassing. He should be in a limo or something. Couldn't she at least call him a cab?
Reading my mind, Elizabeth said "everyone else has gone home, and if I send him out the front door it will be a mob scene. You need to drive him."
Before I could think of an answer, the astronaut was standing beside me with his brief case ready to go. Getting the
embarrassment off to a good start, he started to say things like "Hey, so where's Elizabeth? I thought she was coming with us?" He was clearly as weirded out as I was. Anxiety mounting, I realized I couldn't find my car. Finally, I found it, crammed in a tiny space between two vans. I cringed as he jammed himself between the cars to get in the passenger seat. When I started the car, "Glamorous" by Fergie (thanks a lot Jill!!!) blared for an instant before I could turn it off. I died. This is certainly not the type of VIP treatment he was used to.
Now lets get really honest here. Everyone that knows me knows that I am not a good driver. I accidentally drive over curbs, I stop too fast, and I tend to roll through stop signs. And now I had an astronaut in my car whose knees were crunched into the dashboard. I drove in a blur as I chatted nervously and envisioned the astronaut surviving space, only for me to accidentally drive into the lake and kill him. Gena Johnson Kills Astronaut and National Hero. Hell no!
Before long, I was at the hotel dropping him off. He had just finished telling me about a time when he was the guest of honor in Chicago's St. Patrick's Day Parade (further humiliation for me and my Nissan), when he tried to make out with me. KIDDING! This story would be much better (and so much more Clinton) with that ending, wouldn't it? But sadly I just let him out of my car, unhurt and only slightly stiff from the uncomfortable ride.

Co-workers and me with new best friend, moon man Harrison
Schmitt.